5 Tips for Making Great Wedding Speeches

We've all met people who have something to say - not because it's worth listening to, but because they seem to love the sound of their own voice.

The wedding season is about to get into full swing, so if you're a Best Man, Father/Mother of the Bride, Best Woman or Maid of Honour who has to make a speech, how do you do it so that people remember you for all the right reasons?

Here are 5 things to remember if your aim is to entertain.

The bride is hoping that the groom came through the stag night/bachelor party unscathed and that there won't be any repercussions that she has to hear about from anyone at the wedding! Remember who your audience is - there's everyone from elderly grandmothers and maiden aunts to teenage nieces and nephews - so it's quite a skill to pitch it just right. Include the innocent school-boy pranks but leave out any profanity and any stories that would make the bride's mother's toes curl with embarrassment or Aunty's pacemaker give out.

If you're the Father of the Bride, your daughter may not be too delighted by you reminding her of kindergarten romps with the boy next door. Unless of course she's marrying him.

Being nervous is natural. Some rock stars and theatre actors are famous for throwing up because they're so nervous before they go on stage, but they manage it (sober) in front of thousands, so you can do it for a couple of hundred.

Look up good relaxation techniques and practise them. Try this: take a deep breath in for the count of 10 and breathe out slowly for the count of 10. Put your hand on your abdomen and feel it gently rising and falling and as you do so, imagine a happy, laughing audience responding to your speech. Repeat.

If all else fails, look at the audience and imagine them naked - just remember not to laugh!

Reading from notes in your hand will mean that you make limited eye contact with your audience and that the speech won't flow naturally. If you need a prompt then just write a word on a card that will remind you what you want to say and then you can knit the story together as you go. Some people favour PowerPoint presentations to go with their speeches, and that's a good way of adding great visuals to the proceedings. Each slide can then act as the nudge you need to remember the story you want to tell.

Whenever you make a good speech you let your message touch the audience personally and evoke some emotion in them - sadness, laughter, etc. Look at your audience; make eye contact with each person as you look round the room, as if you're speaking just to that person and no one else. Smile as you talk because a wedding is a happy occasion.

If you think nerves might make you mumble then practise your speech and record your practice sessions. Listen for the rhythm and musicality of your voice, the expression and the purpose. If you find you're speaking in a flat monotone, practice re-living the story and enjoying in your mind it so that this comes out when you speak.

Stand up straight and adopt a confident posture even if you don't feel it - 'fake it til you make it'. Normally what's going on in your mind is also played out in your body language. But if you change your body language - in this case by standing tall and smiling - it will convince your mind that all is well and you CAN play this role.

In-jokes are the ones that drive you nuts when other people tell them because you feel left out. They're very funny for those in the in-crowd but alienate everyone else. Your speech is for everyone so make inclusive jokes and people love self deprecation.

Some people love getting up on their feet and entertaining others. For the rest of us it can make the blood run cold. To improve your skills, look at some your favourite comedians and inspirational speakers on YouTube and think about what makes them good at getting their message across - their body language, eye contact, facial expressions, as well as what they're saying (the actual words the use) and how they touch the audience.

Be careful though – once you get a reputation as a good a good after dinner speaker, the invitations could come rolling in!

To build your speech, these sites may be useful:

www.weddingspeechbuilder.com